“Learning to trust is one of life’s most difficult tasks.” – Isaac Watts
Is there any way to get trust back once it has been lost? If there is anything in this world that can upset a person the most, it’s not that you lied to that person, but that from now on, that person can’t believe in you. Trust is the foundation that makes any relationship work. Whether the relationship is between husband and wife, parent and child, or friends and colleagues, nothing can maintain its strength better than trust. When trust has been lost, it’s difficult to restore it. The good news is that it’s not impossible to rebuild trust. If a partner or a loved one has lost their trust in you because of something you have done in the past, don’t lose hope, because there is a way to restore trust after it’s been broken.
The first step to regain the trust of a loved one whom you have hurt is to forgive yourself. Healing should first come from within you, because if you can’t forgive yourself, you will end up doing the same thing over and over again, even if the other person has already forgiven you. To forgive yourself means to accept the fact that you are a human being who is bound to make mistakes. It also means trusting yourself once again and believing that lying and betraying other people is not what you were originally designed for.
Show Your Sincerity
Sincerity is something that is hard to counterfeit. When you show that you are sincere in asking forgiveness and regaining the trust of the person you’ve hurt, the other person will know it. However, sincerity is shown not only in words, but more importantly in actions. A good example would be a husband who puts effort in courting his wife again after cheating on her. Women are designed to be pursued, and they will test your sincerity by seeing how persistent you are in pursuing them. Putting effort in attempting to rebuild trust will also let the other person know that you have repented and have had a genuine change of heart.
Open Up About Your Struggles
Talking about what made you betray the other person is an excellent first step to rebuilding trust and to making sure you prevent future infractions. There is always a root to everything that we do in life, and if it involves breaking the trust of another person, the root is usually one that is unpleasant. For instance, if the reason for the breaking of trust is a third party, there’s a big chance that as a child, it has been instilled in your mind that it’s okay to go and pursue another woman even if you’re already married. Opening up about your personal struggles is a good way to deal with the root of the problem. If necessary, don’t hesitate to talk to a counselor or a spiritual advisor who can offer you professional advice.
Renew Your Vows to The Person You’ve Hurt
Renewing of vows is not only for married couples. If you’ve hurt a friend, you can also renew your vows to that person by sitting down and talking about what has transpired and what steps both of you can take moving forward. If you are married, you can make a ceremony out of it and inviting a few close friends and relatives to witness the event. This is a very important part of the process of healing, not only for the other person, but also for you, and for the rest of the people who have been hurt along the way.
Rebuilding trust after it has been broken is not a one-time decision – it requires effort and a genuine change of heart. It also requires a lifestyle change. It’s about leaving your former self behind and making a conscious decision of adapting better habits that will help the other person trust you again. It might mean coming home from work on time. It might mean making your life an open book and giving up your privacy. It means doing everything you can to restore your relationship to its original state.
Trust is fragile. It is easily broken. The good thing is that it can also be restored. That doesn’t mean, though, that you can live a life of compromise. Since trust is the bedrock of your relationships, give your entire soul, mind, and strength into making sure that it remains intact.